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I'm giving up bridge tonight's my last night,
It's Amen to Staymen, I give up the fight.
The insults and muddles are giving me troubles;
I can't sleep at night for remembering doubles.
What to bid, what to lead, and which cards have been played?
Did my partner's discard mean she wanted a spade?
So for now it's all over - I'm off to the backwood,
I'm bidding good riddance to Gerber and Blackwood.
I can't stand the hassle, I can't stand the pain,
I'm getting those bad cards, again and again.
I'm giving up bridge - tonight's a bad night,
Declarer is horrid and nothing's gone right.
My partner's quite hopeless but tends to blame me,
When I go down in four and we should be in three.
And I sit there in dread when I hear her say "double",
She does it a lot and it always means trouble.
My points are not high, and I'm wondering why,
She keeps on and on bidding up to the sky;
We're in seven hearts and my nerves are all frayed,
When wonder of wonders - the contract is made!
We've got all the tricks, the defenders look grey,
And I have to admit that my partner's okay.
But...I'm giving up bridge - tonight's my last night,
Farewell to conventions, I give up the fight!
So I end with some words that I know to be true,
Bridge is a game, not for me but for you.
So be kind to your partners, and don't mind their cheek,
For it's only a game - oh! and see you next week! (Unknown)
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Ode to Bridge
#1
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- Group: Advanced Members
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- Location:Vancouver, Canada
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Posted 2025-February-14, 16:37
"And no matter what methods you play, it is essential, for anyone aspiring to learn to be a good player, to learn the importance of bidding shape properly." MikeH
“Let me put it in words you might understand,” he said. “Mr. Trump, f–k off!” Anders Vistisen
“Let me put it in words you might understand,” he said. “Mr. Trump, f–k off!” Anders Vistisen
#2
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- Posts: 17,742
- Joined: 2006-April-17
- Gender:Male
- Location:Rochester, NY
Posted 2025-February-15, 15:04
Well done, jb! 
--------------------
As for tv, screw it. You aren't missing anything. -- Ken Berg
Our ultimate goal on defense is to know by trick two or three everyone's hand at the table. -- Mike777
I have come to realise it is futile to expect or hope a regular club game will be run in accordance with the laws. -- Jillybean
As for tv, screw it. You aren't missing anything. -- Ken Berg
Our ultimate goal on defense is to know by trick two or three everyone's hand at the table. -- Mike777
I have come to realise it is futile to expect or hope a regular club game will be run in accordance with the laws. -- Jillybean
#3
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- Group: Advanced Members
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- Joined: 2003-November-15
- Gender:Female
- Location:Vancouver, Canada
- Interests:Multi
Posted 2025-February-15, 15:24
Correction, it's not my work.
But I did a nice job retyping it
But I did a nice job retyping it
"And no matter what methods you play, it is essential, for anyone aspiring to learn to be a good player, to learn the importance of bidding shape properly." MikeH
“Let me put it in words you might understand,” he said. “Mr. Trump, f–k off!” Anders Vistisen
“Let me put it in words you might understand,” he said. “Mr. Trump, f–k off!” Anders Vistisen
#4
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- Posts: 3,808
- Joined: 2019-October-04
- Gender:Male
- Location:Poland
Posted 2025-February-15, 16:23
In the words of the great mathematician Tom Lehrer:
Quote
Plagiarize
Plagiarize
Let no one else's work evade your eyes
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes
So don't shade your eyes
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize
Only be sure always to call it please "Research"
Plagiarize
Let no one else's work evade your eyes
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes
So don't shade your eyes
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize
Only be sure always to call it please "Research"
Fortuna Fortis Felix
#5
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Posted 2025-February-15, 17:20
Move to WC ? 
"And no matter what methods you play, it is essential, for anyone aspiring to learn to be a good player, to learn the importance of bidding shape properly." MikeH
“Let me put it in words you might understand,” he said. “Mr. Trump, f–k off!” Anders Vistisen
“Let me put it in words you might understand,” he said. “Mr. Trump, f–k off!” Anders Vistisen
#6
- Group: Admin
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- Joined: 2009-July-26
- Gender:Female
- Location:bucharest / romania
Posted 2025-February-16, 16:56
jillybean, on 2025-February-15, 17:20, said:
Move to WC ?
IMO close enuff
It's more on topic than the flurry of "i need a whiteboard you morons" we just had to clean...
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