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Limericks Speaks for itself

#41 User is offline   Gerben42 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 05:21

On a roll here... For Free:

Frederick Staelens = Red finesse tackler (red because he plays red system Moscito)
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!
My Bridge Systems Page

BC Kultcamp Rieneck
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#42 User is offline   slothy 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 06:47

FRED B. GITELMAN

= BRIDGE-FELT MAN

PS I had a word with Sheri and she told me that had Fred ever had a middle name he would have wanted it to be Bartholemew
gaudium est miseris socios habuisse penarum - Misery loves company.
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#43 User is offline   jillybean 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 06:57

:) :) :lol: :(
laughing so much it hurts
"And no matter what methods you play, it is essential, for anyone aspiring to learn to be a good player, to learn the importance of bidding shape properly." MikeH
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#44 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 08:55

Meckstroth: T. Rock Them
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#45 User is offline   42 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 08:57

I like going to tango, but - like in bridge - finding the perfect partner is not always easy...

A bridgeplayer once went to tango
avoiding too much of parlando
thinking about some 3clubs
and cold beer in near pubs
Now he tries out to dance the fandango.
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. (Groucho Marx)
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#46 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 09:22

Justin Lall: J.L. Nail-Lust
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#47 User is offline   42 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 10:11

I still have that Limerick virus...

An expert played with a beauty from France,
also hoping for an after tourney romance.
She: you didn't give correct count
and messed up the compound,
you self-proclaimed expert! No chance!
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. (Groucho Marx)
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#48 User is offline   slothy 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 10:27

There was a bridge-player, 42,
Who thought a French expert would do;
After the virtual French kiss,
And the osculatory bliss,
She knew the French couldn't snog too!

-----

PS if any Frenchmen are offended by this...ne pas probleme :P

PPS

As i have got personal messages asking me what 'snog' means:

Dictionary Definition: verb, noun, Passionate kiss (English slang).

Slothy Dictionary: Snog: An act of communion between 2 people, usually of opposite sex, the whole purpose of which is to determine whether one can perform the party-trick of touching one's uvula with one's tongue.

PPS also want to apologise if anybody, on first reading, misread the word 'uvula'
gaudium est miseris socios habuisse penarum - Misery loves company.
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#49 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 11:36

Quote

I still have that Limerick virus...


YOU SAID THE "L" WORD!!!! No-o-o-o-o-o-o!!!!

The French played a game called plafond,
with cards that looked horribly wrong,
Vandy renamed the game
Claimed invention for same
Leaving Parisians to yell loudly, "Non!"
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#50 User is offline   PriorKnowledge 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 11:50

I think this is totally infantile
To try to make rhymes that are purile
But what the F***
I'll jump on the truck
Even tho this is a manure pile
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#51 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 11:55

I think this is totally infantile
To try to make rhymes that are purile
But what the F***
I'll jump on the truck
Even tho this is a manure pile

Welcome to MY world, LoL.

WinstonM aka "Seriously Weird" aka "Underbid"
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#52 User is offline   bestguru 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 13:17

There once was a guy named Scott
Who used to play on bbo a lot
But then he got too busy
Wedding plans have him in a tizzy
And bridge withdrawals are making him dizzy
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#53 User is offline   42 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 15:03

2 palookas tried Smith and McKenney
against experts and lost every penny.
They sat there whining loud
and the experts shouted out:
"Better go home now and tell your Nanny!"
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. (Groucho Marx)
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#54 User is offline   dogsbreath 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 15:13

There was a young chap from Dundee
Who played bridge with a wench on each knee
He said "I think I'm in trouble
..with the next take-out double
This is my first time playing hands-free"

Dog :P
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#55 User is offline   slothy 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 15:43

Two honeymooners went up to Whitehorse,
And enrolled in a 2-day bridge course;
HE bid the wrong game,
Yet SHE was to blame,
And now they ain't married, but divorced.


-----

i couldnt let the story end so tragically :P

-----

They went back to their home-town in Maine,
And they continued to play this great game;
When he bid a grand slam,
they went home and BHAM-BHAM,
and now they are married again.

------

(still too tragic)

------

Nine months has passed since they played,
With the grand slam he had bid and had made;
She gave birth to some quads,
And hence a Team Squad,
Named Diamond, Heart, Club and Spade.
gaudium est miseris socios habuisse penarum - Misery loves company.
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#56 User is offline   macaw 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 16:31

My pard knows I'm under duress,
but he's the one feeling the stress!
When someone says double,
He knows there is trouble,
and incredible chance for a mess!

#57 User is offline   Echognome 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 20:28

Some more anagrams for your reading pleasure:

FRANCES HINDEN = ENSNARED FINCH


JUSTIN LALL = J. INSULT ALL


ROLAND WALD = LORD AND LAW


FRED GITELMAN = EMIGRANT FLED


Enjoy!
"Half the people you know are below average." - Steven Wright
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#58 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2005-June-09, 21:18

FRANCES HINDEN = ENSNARED FINCH


JUSTIN LALL = J. INSULT ALL


ROLAND WALD = LORD AND LAW


FRED GITELMAN = EMIGRANT FLED

AWESOME! LOL
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#59 User is offline   42 

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Posted 2005-June-10, 05:14

I play trembling 3NT and Polished Club,
Tortellini, even old, surely that brings me up!
Forgot how to finesse
(the score was a mess)...
Now no one accepts me, not even as sub :(
Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. (Groucho Marx)
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#60 User is offline   Gerben42 

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Posted 2005-June-10, 06:00

Oh dear <trost> :(

Do you want me to sit in the corner and rust, or just fall apart where I'm standing?

Marvin.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!
My Bridge Systems Page

BC Kultcamp Rieneck
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