[Lesh18]

Hi

I've been playing a declarer, succeeded in a contract and both my partner and opponents go 'Oh, well done, well played'. What should I say not to conceited, especially because I honestly don't think I played that well, since I guessed both finesses. Should I just say thank you, or: nah, I was just lucky, or return the compliment to partner for good bidding?

I know this question may sound trivial to you, but I've just started playing in a bridge club and don't know much about the etiquette.

Thanks

[sfi]

Lesh18, on 2013-December-13, 04:59, said:

I've been playing a declarer, succeeded in a contract and both my partner and opponents go 'Oh, well done, well played'. What should I say not to conceited, especially because I honestly don't think I played that well, since I guessed both finesses. Should I just say thank you, or: nah, I was just lucky, or return the compliment to partner for good bidding?

'Thanks' is almost always the right answer. There's no need or expectation to get involved in a discussion about the hand in the middle of a session.

[ahydra]

If you played it well (including taking the only winning line), OR you messed up but opponents missed the chance to punish you - just say "thanks".

I'm an expert at misplaying hands, and if I get away with it (cards lay so favourably that there was nothing opps could do), I say something like "Thanks - got away with that somewhat though"

And if you stumble in an exceptionally fortunate game/slam contract (say <10%) that happens to make, the correct thing to do is to apologise to opps.

Finally, always compliment partner and opps on a good bid or play!

ahydra

[barmar]

ahydra, on 2013-December-13, 05:48, said:

Finally, always compliment partner and opps on a good bid or play!

Yep. I think everyone appreciates being told "Good diamond switch, partner".

I don't think you have to worry much about appearing conceited when you're in receipt of a compliment -- they started it. What you should not do is gloat spontaneously.

[aguahombre]

barmar, on 2013-December-13, 09:23, said:

I don't think you have to worry much about appearing conceited when you're in receipt of a compliment -- they started it. What you should not do is gloat spontaneously.

This is an important etiquette issue at any level and on line or FTF. I do worry about how it appears when I am in receipt of a compliment.

Receiving a compliment from the opponents gracefully when you know what really happened was something else ---they screwed up or you got lucky --- is a delicate people skill.

Complimenting partner can sound like chortling or gloating.

Even complimenting an opponent on a successful action can sound like, "You are a lucky moron with that horrible play." Or worse, it might sound like a veiled accusation of some kind.
You might even mean it that way

[mikeh]

as a side note: when considering whether to compliment partner, I suggest don't do it just because your side got a good result. Often that good result was a gift from the opps and one or both of the opps may have figured it out: hearing an opp congratulate his or her partner for a 'good play' or 'well done' when it was nothing but a bad mistake by a defender suggests either you don't know enough to recognize it or that you are rubbing it in.

So reserve your praise for those relatively few hands (even with an expert the opportunity to do a good thing is rare) where you think partner played very well. That will make your praise more rewarding when you give it and will rarely, if ever, offend the opps.

Personally, I use the same approach for the opps, but if the opps aren't very good, then I'll compliment them on good plays more frequently. But I never compliment a bad play that worked well, no matter who did it.

On the OP: just say thanks. I wouldn't ever say 'I just got lucky'. Just a simple: thanks.

It'll be obvious from this, but I dislike the common bbo practice of saying wdp any time your declarer partner makes a contract

[ArtK78]

If an opponent compliments you on a play, the best response is "thank you," whether you think you deserve the compliment or not.

Normally, unless something truly remarkable has been done, I keep silent. The ubiquitous nature of "wdp" and the like online cheapen the compliments, so when they are truly deserved it is hard to tell that it is really meant.

Often, when playing in ACBL online tournaments on BBO, an opp will congratulate his or her partner on making a contract. The fact that the declarer threw away two tricks and is going to get a near zero doesn't seem to enter into the calculation.

[mike777]

Praise is nice, people forget the median ability of ACBL players. Recent letters to the ACBL magazine comment that even the beginner section is too difficult for many readers.

[CSGibson]

If I receive a compliment, I say thank you. If I don't deserve the compliment, I say thank you, then talk to partner afterwards.

Compliments can be a tool - use them to settle down a nervous partner if you can. Other than that, do what comes natural to you in terms of giving out compliments.

[GreenMan]

The median player in ACBL BBO tournaments is pretty good, actually, IME. The ones who are so new they struggle with the Bulletin's not-really-beginner section don't play in the tourneys.

Praise at the table can serve a phatic purpose, which shouldn't be discounted. I don't believe that "wdp" or indeed "wdo" should have narrow, literal meanings when they can also improve the atmosphere.

[paua]

wdp is kinda automatic, most hands. vwdp is for special occasions !

[Cromlyn]

If this question refers to face to face club bridge I would tend to praise partner when changing opponents so as not to appear to gloat. If I am praised I just say a simple ‘thank you’.

If this question refers to playing on one of the BBO clubs - like the Acol Club, where it seems to be deemed to be good manners to acknowledge declarer’s efforts. We would routinely use the ‘wpp’, ‘gtp’, ‘wpo’, etc, and partner would simply acknowledge the compliment with a ‘ty’, ‘typ’, or ‘thx’ - see BBO’s abbreviations - http://www.bridgebas...reviations.html

However, in the Main Bridge Club, or the Relaxed Bridge Club, where pick-up partners come and go there is very little comment, or even salutations, given. So when in Rome . . .

[ggwhiz]

Unless you have only received 1 compliment like this in many months you have the etiquette part nailed. No worries.

[glen]

Lesh18, on 2013-December-13, 04:59, said:

I've been playing a declarer, succeeded in a contract and both my partner and opponents go 'Oh, well done, well played'. What should I say not to conceited, especially because I honestly don't think I played that well, since I guessed both finesses. Should I just say thank you, or: nah, I was just lucky, or return the compliment to partner for good bidding?

Thank you.

There are so many people whose generosity and support is the reason that I'm sitting here right now. The creative team Cameron Mackintosh, Tom Hooper; from Working Title: Eric Fellner, Tim Bevan, Debra Hayward; and from Universal: Ron Meyer, Donna Langley and Adam Fogelson. Thank you, guys, for your faith and thank you for this opportunity.

I have to thank my team, led by the lionhearted Suzan Bymel. Josh Lieberman, Mick Sullivan, Maha Dakhil… Please say I just said everyone. Josh Lieberman again, just to be safe. Stephen Huvane, Jason Sloane and special contributions by Frank Selvaggi and Kerry Wagner. I want to thank my friends, especially the ones who are cheering from Crosby Street tonight. My family, who I'm so blessed to be a part of. My spouse. By far and away, the greatest moment of my life is the one when you walked into it. I love you so much.

And thank you for this. Here's hoping that someday in the not too distant future I will play this well again. Thank you.