[inquiry]

I will post the hand in the squeeze pattern recongnition thread, but at the local club I mangled a squeeze hand and went down. I apologized to partner, stating that I could make the hand on a squeeze. My RHO who had just earned a top board (ro near top board at my expense), was a drinking buddy, and we were all going out for pizza and a beer after the game.

He says, "no way you can make this.. there is simply no squeeze sonny"

I said, sure there was.... but he insist.. "There is no way you can make this on a squeeze. If there is, I will buy the beer for everyone tonight, and dance naked on the table."

Well, at the pizza/bar place, and after about an hour of going through all the permutations, he finally agreed that the squeeze was there, so he reluctantly bought the beer. Forutunately, he didn't dance naked on the table (or anywhere else), really, nobody wanted to see that.

[Fluffy]

I already posted mine on the 'Most outrageous bid you ever made? ' post

http://bridgebase.lunarpages.com/~bridge2/...?showtopic=5089


There is a very famous one in Spain I´ll instead relate:


There is a marriage that surprisingly play always together, they keep yelling and insulting each other bravelly always, but somehow, when the game is over, it doesn´t matter what they said, it is forgotten fully and they love each other.

It happened once than while he played (or maybe defended) a deal quite badly she yelled to him:

-You play even worse than you ... (that thing couples make at beds, I myself I am so young an inocent that don´t know the word in english).

You could imagine the face of the opponents after that, bu you are wrong, only 1 of the opponets had 'that' face, the other just replied...

-Yes, but you can´t say you don´t like it .

[ecepal]

Hi
3 years ago in Florida I have entered a tournement,which was my first real life tournement:)
I was playing with my friend's cousin.he is bold (no offence to anyone) and has a habit of scratching his head very often.
My partner opened 1 club .and he again stroked his head.I did not take any notice and I bid 3 clubs. Opponents two oldish ladies called director in my horror -did not know why?
The lady sitting on my right hand said" TD they are signaling to each other gentlemen stroke his head and lady bid 3clubs! "
Td come to me and asked to see my cards.
I opened my cards discreetly of course and TD said " carry on please "
Of course I had in my hand
♣K,J,1o.9.8.x,x,x )) and my p had ♣ A,Q.x
)))

well at that tournement me and my partner become 6th (amongst over 900 people)

[keylime]

Scene: A hot, steamy Oklahoma City night in the summer

Location: The local duplicate, stuffy with old farts and old stuff

The protagonists: The dynamically misguided duo who was inspiring at times in their attempts to understand why they sucked at club bridge, but played great at tourneys (at the time mind you).

The situation:

Our beautifully attractive woman, a brunette with a warm smile and eyes that are enticing enough to run out for ice cream at 2AM, opens a forcing 1♣ and hears the handsome windblown man, who is very much trying to woo this brunette with charm, personality, and ice cream runs, responds 3♥, showing a 5-5 hand in the black suits. Our heroine, for reasons that to this day remain unexplained, decides to venture a 4♥ call, which she "hopes" gets the handsome windblown man to choose which black suit to play in.....only to get DROPPED there because the gentleman is thinking the attractive woman is on a 6-7 card ♥ suit.

The handsome windblown man, after recovering from the horrid shock of playing 4♥ on AQ9 opposite T-x, decides to see how many tricks are really possible. He wiggles, finesses, manipulates, massages, prays, sacrifices willingly body parts trying desperately to salvage some ounce of self-respect.....only to make the contract because the KJ8x is ONSIDE.

The handsome windblown man scratches his head in amazement over his luck, writes down 4♥ making for +620, when par is 6NT...... DOWN ONE!!!.

Thus, this is the strangest top I have ever received, and directly influenced the massive rewrite to generate the structure over 1♣ openings.

[Fluffy]

These reminds me of a good one my partner did the European Junior Championship in Torquay'2002

You can see the hand at the bottom of this page:

http://www.eurobridge.org/competitions/02T...17WedEvePg7.htm

For this match (one of the lasts) we decided to switch the regular partnerships so I found myself playing my first time with PEREZ CALISTEO (I am GODED MERINO).

My partner: tried blackwood, he suddenly forgot 5♥ was not only 2 key cards, but also denying trump Q, but he did remind that the next bid was asking for it, so he bid 5♠, and fond himself playing on what we can call... 'not the best fit' .

[the hog]

As a matter of interest, did he make it? It is makeable.

[Gerben47]

Read the story and you will see the answer is yes

[inquiry]

The_Hog, on Nov 15 2004, 05:51 PM, said:

As a matter of interest, did he make it? It is makeable.

It was made, but it is surely not makable... 5Spades missing KJT9xxx with KJTxx in one hand.. lead ♠9, and you then have to lose 3♠ tricks. Silly thing master trumps.. they seem to take tricks if not crashing down on each other.

Ben

[slothy]

Fluffy, on Nov 13 2004, 08:52 AM, said:

There is a very famous one in Spain I´ll instead relate:


There is a marriage that surprisingly play always together, they keep yelling and insulting each other bravelly always,  but somehow, when the game is over, it doesn´t matter what they said, it is forgotten fully and they love each other.

...

-You play even worse than you ... (that thing couples make at beds, I myself I am so young an inocent that don´t know the word in english).


...

Dear Floofy,

Can you please send me their phone numbers cause i want to reassure myself they are actually human.

I am compiling a book 'Contradictions In Bridge Play and Matrimony: Applying the Kama Sutra To Better Bidding Sequences' and this episode totally torpedoes my theory about interactions between couples before and after a game(different dynamics amongst gay couples)

Sloofy xx

PS And if my ex-wife ever ever happens to read this you were better in bed than you were at the bridge table. (with whoever it was you were sleeping with )

(5 mins ago: Oooops alas just found out my ex-wife DOES read these forums. hang on just phoning my lawyer)

[helene_t]

New-years day 1999. I had nothing to do so I looked up if something was going on in the local Lesbian center. Actually, there was a coffiehouse hour (yes, that means bridge: it might have refered to something else. Netherlands, you know).

I had never played in the Netherlands before so I had no idea what the Dutch bridge culture would be like. So I read a few pages in the "Van Start tot Finish" book, which mentioned something called "Acol" and subsequently described it as the excact antithesis of Acol except that they actually would open a 4-card major on rare occasions. Very confusing. So I was prepared for surprises.

At the first board, I opened 1NT which my partner raised to 3. LHO lead a small heart to the queen of her partner, which I took with the king. Now RHO (!) lead a card for the second trick.

Me: "Hey, I'm on lead. I won the first trick".
RHO: "Didn't they teach you our rules? This is a feminist bridge club. The queen is higher than the king."

I must have looked very confused, since my partner rushed to assure me that it was a joke.