[inquiry]

I was playing in the Austin Texas club, I think off Palo Alto, in the late 70's when a hand came up that caused a lot of amusement. I can find it by digging back through some hand records, but the story was this..

My LHO opened 1NT and my RHO bid 2♦=game forcing stayman. I held a six-five minor hand so I trotted out 2NT. LHO doubled, and this came all pass to me. Despite six good diamonds and five fair clubs, this didn't seem right to me, so I bid 3♣ to give partner a choice. Partner bid 3♠ (gasp), RHO doubled, so I dutifully passed, this went to partner who bid 3NT, this was doubled. I considered redoubling, but maybe partner is being very cute, so I pass thinking finally he will bid out suit. But no he passes.

The dummy hits and I am in terrible trouble. I might win just four tricks if I am lucky. But the defense is just terrible. They cash the AK in my six card diamond suit, they cash the club ACE setting up my king and giving me an entry to my diamonds I would never have, they cash the heart ace. Now, I have the remainder of the tricks. 3NTx making... We look at the traveller, 3NT made the other way at all the tables, so it was quite fun writing this score down.

The next week, when I return to the club, I find that I get a ZERO on this board, instead of the top I "earned" (lol, well earned isn't the right word), which cost me first place (now i am second). It seems some helpful scorer, seing 3NT making time and tiem again for the NS pair, just assumed this must have been 3NTx making for them, not 3NT making for EW (my direction). After all if there was nine tricks in NT for NS, how can there be 9 tricks their for EW?

Important lesson.. hang out and check your scores... :-)

ben

[whereagles]

A friend had a similar story once. He was West and had something like

AQJxxxx
x
xxx
Jx

and, none vuln, it went:

RHO he LHO pard
1H...3S..dbl..pass
3NT..(all pass)

Now he started the club jack. Dummy had Kxx and pard's AQTxx. After a club continuation and spade through declarer's Kx, my friend had scored 5 clubs + 7 spades = 12 tricks. 8 down for -400.

At the end director came to him to ask if 400 to East/West was correctly written down. This was because every other table played 3NT with 400 to NORTH/SOUTH, which is the normal result if you lead a spade, lol...

[inquiry]

I am not sure if this will strike everyone as funny, but I got a kick out of it.

When I was a lot younger, I was playing precision with an even younger female partner. She opened 1D (11-15, could be shorter) and we said alert. My RHO snapped at us... "We don't want to be alerted, this is just a way for you to remind each other your system." So, we didn't alert the rest of that hand (no other alerts anway).

Next hand. my LHO opens 1NT and my RHO bids 2D - ALERT, to which, I said, please, we don't want to be alerted, either." My RHO became enraged and called the director and complained that I was being rude to her and her partner.

I got a big kick out of it.. .but like I said I was much younger then....

[inquiry]

I was use to live in Austin Texas, and I was playing in a Regional event there one time while my mother was visiting from out of town. My mom, who had at that time played bridge all her life, but never duplicate came to kibitz. She didn't undertand duplicate scoring, so I picked up an instant scoring card for her so she could see how the +50 for part-scores and +300 and +500 for game bonus worked.

She asked me to show her how it worked, but during the first round, I had forgotten all about that and just wrote the scores on the traveller. She reminded me of my ovesight when the round was called, and I promised to do better the next round. When I looked up, lo and behold, a reigning world champion was coming to my table wiht a very experienced client. Even though it was only round two, it was obviously they must have not had a good round one. This was going to be a heady time. We got the better of them on the first board, and I used the "instant score" to figure out the result, allowing my mom to see how the table worked on it. The next hand, we did even better, doubling them for a huge number. Well, Mr. World Champion slams his cards down on the table, and says " God-**** it, (name of client), event (bleeb) total morons who don't know how to keep score are killing us."

Well, my mother couldn't constrain herself. she says to world champion, "Sir, my son was just shoiwing me how to use the score sheet. He knows more about bridge than you ever will"...

My partner nearly wet his pants, and the client couldn;t help but laugh. The World champion? To he credit (I guess), he just sat there and stared at my mom in disbelief. He didn't say another word, as the round was called within second (seemed like an eternity to me) after this.

I told mom after this, that kibitzers are never allowed to talk, even after the round.

Ben

[inquiry]

I was playing with a self expressed expert in a local Matchpoint club game, let's call him Ralph (not his real namel). The opponents climbed to 6NT with my partner on lead. As luck would have it, he held AKJTxx in spades (having never bid them).

Well, he was good enough to know to double. Yeah for us. And they didn't run out of notrump, again, yeah. And he lead the King. I held three small, dummy had three small. Since we lead King from KQ, I played low to deny fitting honor (normal count and attitude at that time)... and, my partner switched so that when i get in, I could lead through declarer's marked Spade Queen. So, of course, instead of taking the first 6 spade tricks for down five -doubled, this defense allowed six notrump doubled to make.

Given this was matchpoints, and down one even without the double would be a tip-top, I couldn't resist after the hand was over asking why he failed to cash the setting trick at trick two. His reply? I discouraged on the opening lead. Sigh.

I will relate at least two more Ralph stories....

[inquiry]

Ralph, number 2.

I had a steady girlfriend at this time, who I later married, but Ralph was without a female friend. So when his sister's friend invited him to bring a partner over to their dorm room (This was in college) to play bridge, he forced me to go with him. He saw this as a way to connect with members of the opposite sex.

Well we went to play and on the second or third hand, one of the lovely young ladies says, in first seat, "I inkle a heart". Well, what the heck was that we wondered? So we asked. She replied that an inkle was like a pass, except that it showed nearly a bid in the suit inkled.

Well, this was ok with me, as it helped me play the hand, and besides, as "bad" as Ralph was, we were light years ahead of these young ladies in ability. Ralph, however argued about inkling for a while. Finally, after they insisted this was the rules of bridge, adn they do it all the time, we let them do it.

Finally a hand came up where one of them "inkled a double" of us, and then the other one did double us, and of course we went down. Now we are ahead a zillion points, and this was really more a chance for a potential date thing in the future between Ralph and one of the ladies, so it didn't bother me, but Ralph was very upset. Anyway, so he finally decides to get even at the table. So a few hands later, one of them opens 1H and the other jumps to 3H forcing raise. So Ralph "inkles" a double on absoluetly nothing. The opener, studies her hand, and entually passes, as do I (I had extremely little myself). The 3H bidder looks at her and, given we were thinking maybe of doubling 3H, decides to pass....

Well, of course it was a psychic inkle double... and when the girls wrapped up 12 tricks without breaking a sweat, they accused Ralph of cheating. Well, what else could it be? He tried to defend his actions, but the pleasant evening was destoyed, and he never did get that date with either of the girls.

To this day, a few of us who know this story still joke about the inkle bids.

Ben

[pclayton]

In Northern Montana I was 17 playing in a 4 table (big turnout by the way) Howell with "Tom", one of the local Life Masters (by playing for 20 years, not by skill) and eager to impress this young up-and-comer.

The auction was approximately:


LHO.....Tom.....RHO.....Me
1♠.....2♥.....Pass.....4♥
All Pass

The rest of the hand doesnt matter much, but I put down ♥A652 as trump.

RHO leads the A♠ and LHO encourages. Tom ruffs the spade at Trick 2.

Tom leads the Q♥ from his hand, and......thinks, and thinks......

I can tell from the spots and my spade holding that RHO has some length. Hmm, Axx or Axxx and righty didn't raise? Doesn't sound like RHO has much more over there. I telepathically transmit 3 feet across the table: "...........Accceeeee.......Acccceeeeeee"

Tom, plays.....the ACE! Eureka!

Unfortunately, RHO had Jx. I died from laughter.

[inquiry]

In college, I had a very reasonable regular partner, who was a very sound and consistent player. He and I would play against Ralph and Ralph's regular partner most nights (if there was no club game, and no big exam then next day). And often all weekend, except for the gator football games (back then, Florida was not much of a powerhouse, but it was always fun).

Anyway, to spice it up, we played for money. Now, I don't remember how high the stakes were, but they were very low indeed.. on a great night, you might win five to ten bucks if you slaughtered them.... It really was just a fun way to keep score.

Anyway, one day, Ralph loaned my partner his unbrella (it rains for a few minutes everyday each day it seems) to go to class. IT had stopped raining by the time class was over, and yes, my partner forgot the umbrella and it was lost. It was a run of the mill umbrella, that you can pick up from any street vendor in Florida, but Ralph insisted that his mother got that umbrella for him in England, and that it was a priceless heirloom. Anyway, he insisted he she paid 80 bucks for it, and that my partner owed him 80 bucks. I assure you it looks just like my umbrella, and I offered my umbrella to my partner to say, "look I found it" , but he is a good christian guy and wouldn't do it. So they started to run a Tally between themselves when we played for money, and they doubled the stakes. In a very short while, the 80 dollar deficient was erased (meaning I had won 40 dollars in the same time period), and all of a sudden, the other pair decided, they wouldn't play for money anymore.

I think seeing how often and how consistently they were getting whooped, made them reflect on playing for money. So not only did this lost umbrella cost my partner 80 in wining, it cost me (eventually) a source of my coke money.

Ben

[pclayton]

Coca-Cola expensive in FLA in the 70's Ben?

[inquiry]

pclayton, on Nov 10 2004, 12:35 PM, said:

Coca-Cola expensive in FLA in the 70's Ben?

I drinked a whole lot of them.... which leads to another Ralph story.. he had the coke company deliver him cokes by the palette (or a least it seemed that way... multiple cases anway, right to his door). And he would sell them for something like 50 cents or maybe it was a dollar.. whatever it was high for the time... so I was having his parnter pay for a lot of my cokes... the nearest "machine" was a long walk from the door room where we played.

[jtfanclub]

I dunno, it's funny to me...

My first club experience, I was about 14. They had an odd number, and needed one more. I ended up being paired by this Super Genius World Class Expert. Well, she'd probably be Advanced here, but remember, I was 14.

So, the first couple of hands, it's clear she's not real happy with my declarer play. So, I start angling. When I had a balanced 15-17, I'd open a suit, in hopes that she'd get to play the hand. I'd bid new suits to force, and sure enough, she'd end up declaring the hand. So the night finally rolls to a close, with her getting more and more frustrated, and after the last hand she throws down her cards and says:

"Three no trump! Three no trump! All you ever want to play is three no trump!"

And stalked out of the club.

When they tallied up the scores, we had 72%, 20 points higher than 2nd place.

I guess sometimes the winning strategy isn't the winning strategy.

[inquiry]

I was playing with an otherwise normal, sound partner, basic standard american with roman keycard blackwood and DOPI.. and the bidding went...

2C - (P ) - 2D - (P)
2H - (P ) - 4H - (P)
4N - (5C) - DBL - (P)
7H - (DBL) - all pass

Like I said DOPI was on our card, and had been for a couple of years I guess. So my double of 5Clubs denied any keycards (2C was game force, 2D was neg, 4H was support weak). They cashed the ACE of clubs at trick one, and partner then spread his hand, claiming the rest of the tricks.

Partner (yelling) "why lie about your keycards?"

Me: "what do you mean. We play DOPI, it is on our card"

Partner, "Yes, DOPI... Double = one.."

Me, "No you are dopey, double means zero"

Partner, "D "oh"... "oh" for one...."

Me, "no partner, that is not an "oh" it is a zero. Double for zero, pass for one"

Parnter, "No, double is one...", that is an "oh" D o p i "

Me, "well, if it is double = one, then what is is P - "i" "

Partner sits there a short while. Sighs, and says..."doulbe = 1, pass incomplete"

[the hog]

Last board in the final of the Australian Open pairs and we were playing the leaders. Partner and I where playing a relay system and bidding very slowly. Most of the other pairs had already finished and gradually the crowd of kibbers around our table grew and grew; there had to be something odd about this board. Well, after what seemed a horrendously long time and about 14 bids we relayed the hand out and bid 7NT. opp leads and I claim on the lead. One of the kibbers says "Thats a very odd way of showing a 5422 shape". I told him it was exactly the way that Paul Masrton showed that shape. "Hmm, Im not sure about that he says and walks off".
Rho turns to me and says, "Do you know who that was?". "Sure, it was Paul Marston", I replied.

[pdmunro]

My incident was the night I made 6♠X missing the ♠ AKQ. Funny but half-true.

It was at a regional tournament near St Louis. The cards were hand dealt. I only mention this because it led to some peculiar hands. I made a comment to someone that we had been in a number of game contracts with only 5-2 in our trump suit. They said they had 4 slams in the previous set of 7 hands. The other guy always has a better story.

About the 6♠X board. I bid to 6♠ which my RHO (Tex) doubled. Oh no, I thought, we have done it again: we probably have a 5-1 trump holding this time! So I took it out to 6NT. Meanwhile LHO (Doc) was putting his bidding cards away. Then he noticed I had changed my 6♠ bid to 6NT, and not realizing his partner had doubled the 6♠, he called the director. Rick, the director, glided across the floor, Lord of All He Purveyed. By now LHO had seen his partner's double and told Rick that he was not needed. Rick decided to stay to watch the fun.

So pass, pass, and a "what-the-heck" double by RHO. 3 passes. So I was in 6NTX. LHO led something other than spades. He later explained that I was always going to have to pay spades around to his ♠K. Well no you don't, not if your spades are 5-1 and you have plenty of tricks in the other suits. So between them, LHO, with the ♠ Kxx, and RHO, with the ♠ AQxx, won only one trick.

RHO, Tex, was stunned. He kept interrupting the play in the next couple of boards, "Can we go through the bidding again on THAT board?". At the completion of the set I saw him engaged in animated discussion with the other members of his team. No one looked happy.

I asked Rick, who had just stood there passively watching THAT board, if it was all legitimate. All OK he said. Then, he had some precious advice for me about how I could have made a 13th trick. I wasn't listening. I was just happy to have done my Houdini impersonation.

[Gerben47]

Of course you all know of the <add nation here>-3NT opening bid. This shows stoppers in 3 suits and asks partner to pass in case he has a solid minor.

Anyway, having just discussed this very topic 10 minutes before I pick up ♦ AKQxxxx and out. Guess what: Partner opened 3NT. RHO passed and I thought about the situation and decided to pass just to have a good laugh afterwards (was an informal tournament). When asked why I pass I said: "I thought we were playing that you show stoppers in the other suits and I have to pass with a solid minor".

[inquiry]

I was playing with a pick up partner at a local club and the second round, we were pitted against the player recognized as the club's very best player. My partner opened 1st seat, 2♠ (weak), and I had my usual collection of junk (if memory serves me right, it was something like S-Txxx H-Ax D-xxxx C-xxx. I bravely raised to 3♠ with all proper alerts.

The next hand (partner of the expert), bid 3NT, and this went all pass. It turns out, the expert had a great hand, including AJx of spades, so he was sure 3NT was meant for takeout to the minors. But my partner had psyched his two spade bid on S-xxxx H-xxx D-xxx C-xxx and they missed a laydown 6NT, 6H, 6C, or 6D.

Mr Expert, who had a 14 count on his own, was very upset with his partner, not to mention wth my partner, as this was a matchpoint top for us. Guess you might have to have been there, but I enjoyed it.

Ben

[inquiry]

Playing with my Dad one time in a rubber game, when I was much, much younger.. he opened 2H.. in those days, 2H was "Strong and forcing", promising good hearts. None of this weak two business in those days for us (I may have been 12 or so at the time).

I responded 3H, and he bid 3NT, I bid 4H and he bid 4S, I bid 5H and he bid 6C, I bid 6H, he looked at me, said damn it then, and he bid 7H....

His opening hand? It was something like S-AKQx H-A D-AKxx AQJTx

I had seven heart to KQJ and nothing else.

Very odd psyche with a monster hand, but well, it worked out nicely.

[EricK]

The other night at the club, we were playing against a husband and wife pair. They are both fairly good by club standards but he is better than she.

After the first hand he berated her quite strongly for her bidding which (according to him) caused them to end up in 4♠-2 rather than 4♥.

On the next hand he found himself declarer in 4♥ which was cold for 12 tricks. But he butchered the hand so badly that he only made 10 and got approximately 0 MP. To his credit, he immediately apologised to his partner for misplaying it. But I thought the juxtapostion of the two events was quite amusing.

Eric

[pclayton]

Speaking of psyches; I am playing in the finals of the Flight C knockouts in Reno in 1986, against a young (well younger than me - I was the ripe old age of 23) team from Case Western.

After two passes I pick up at 3rd chair green - xxx, AQx, xxx, xxxx. 1♥ by me. 1N on left, 2♣ on right, 2♠, 4♠.

Pard leads his doubleton heart through dummy's KJxx and we quickly take our 2 hearts, heart ruff and side ace to beat 4♠, and I happily note that 3N or even 4♥ is cold.

We win by about 60. The points I get are enough to put me over life master. Believe it or not, that was the first time I had ever psyched.

[EricK]

pclayton, on Nov 12 2004, 05:18 PM, said:

Speaking of psyches; I am playing in the finals of the Flight C knockouts in Reno in 1986, against a young (well younger than me - I was the ripe old age of 23) team from Case Western.

After two passes I pick up at 3rd chair green - xxx, AQx, xxx, xxxx. 1♥ by me. 1N on left, 2♣ on right, 2♠, 4♠.

Pard leads his doubleton heart through dummy's KJxx and we quickly take our 2 hearts, heart ruff and side ace to beat 4♠, and I happily note that 3N or even 4♥ is cold.

We win by about 60. The points I get are enough to put me over life master. Believe it or not, that was the first time I had ever psyched.

I like that psyche. On Wednesday I had ♠AQJ and rags outside. I was preparing my 3rd seat 1♠ psyche when RHO opened 1♠ in front of me

Eric