I guess I'd like to know a bit more about your response structure, like what is 1
♥-3
♠?
I really dislike a Jacoby 2NT response - this should be reserved for hands that you will not be embarrassed about if partner makes a slam try. With no real cards outside the heart suit this is not an appropriate hand.
3
♣ is a reasonable choice, however I would respect partner's sign off, especially in a partnership that opens light.
4
♥ is a reasonable choice too, and I prefer this to starting with 3
♣ and bidding 4
♥ over the sign off.
In my regular partnership I can bid 4
♦ to show a preemptive raise with some values, which fits this hand really well. This is because we use 1M-3OM [OM=other major] to show a limited hand with 4-card support and a singleton, and strong splinters use Jacoby. This also frees the 4
♣ response, which we use as a balanced high card raise with super trumps and poor controls outside of the trump suit.
So, I think your question is not what to bid here, but how comprehensive is your response structure to 1M?
And, unless you put in lots of work, it is inevitable that there will be hands that are difficult to bid, and then you just have to make reasonable choices.
Would I trust you again? Did she trust you before?