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50 Ways to Lose Your Partner Verse writers wanted

#1 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2007-September-09, 12:57

It's all inside your head she said to me
You can make it if you play it carefully
Then she showed me
And I realized she probably was right
there must be fifty ways to lose your partner
fifty ways to lose your partner

Just make a bad plan, Stan
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#2 User is offline   chicken 

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Posted 2007-September-09, 23:11

discard a false heart, bart
bid never three NT, Lee
forget your smith, peter
mix dont with cappelletti, betty
passout a cue, sue
bid always too many, annie
play an encouraging deuce, bruce
Kom kit´cha vangar´th, kin patakh´ch vananch, pargh?

If it´s not important to win, tell me, why do they keep records?

(Barcht, Captain of Nir`ch Tyse´th, Klingon Warship)



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#3 User is offline   pokerbids 

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Posted 2007-September-10, 00:25

Screaming she said with 8 ever and nine never,
Do that, or our relationship I will sever.
Aces are meant to kill Kings and Queens,
Don’t play as if you are from a can of baked beans.

Yes darling I humbly said to her face,
Lecherously I ogled her base.
Now tell me of the squeeze said me,
Aghast she yelled don’t u dare said she.
That’s not what I meant I won’t squeeze those,
All u men with sex u close.

This is a game where you count said she,
Hmmm I said I give you a perfect 10 says me.
10 is just average, we need 25 for game she said,
And lecherous me I just dreamt of the bed.

The game began and partners were we,
Left and right she went for me.
Go, learn and improve she yelled aloud,
BBO will clear your mind of the bridge cloud.

The BIL it is for you to enter,
Maureen will soon find you a mentor.
Aghast I said a beginner I am not,
Yes she said you are a big clot.

Sad to say that was my blind date,
Aha and yes her name was Kate.
Improve I did at BBO I mean,
And a year later I returned big and mean.

Today she really looks up to me,
What should I have played now, says she!
Humbly I lower my head,
She knows that means I will tell her in bed!

Don’t be aghast she is only my wife,
And really is truly my life.
Marriage is 7 NT for us,
And its sure beats riding the bus.
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#4 User is offline   gwnn 

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Posted 2007-September-10, 01:47

pokerbids, on Sep 10 2007, 08:25 AM, said:

Now tell me of the squeeze said me,
Aghast she yelled don’t u dare said she.
That’s not what I meant I won’t squeeze those,
All u men with sex u close.

Top notch :) B)
... and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic.
      George Carlin
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#5 User is offline   kenberg 

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Posted 2007-September-10, 07:02

Take a practice finesse, Bess
Lose track of the trump. Chump
Analyze by resultze, Schultze
Lead out of turn, Fern


No need to discuss, much
Just take the four with the three, Lee
And get yourself free!
Ken
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#6 User is offline   han 

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Posted 2007-September-10, 08:23

Welcome back Winston, expecting some real bridge posts from you soon.
Please note: I am interested in boring, bog standard, 2/1.

- hrothgar
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#7 User is offline   chicken 

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Posted 2007-September-10, 08:28

always revoke , bloke

(thats fun, u might get addicted)
Kom kit´cha vangar´th, kin patakh´ch vananch, pargh?

If it´s not important to win, tell me, why do they keep records?

(Barcht, Captain of Nir`ch Tyse´th, Klingon Warship)



www.bridgeball.de
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#8 User is offline   matmat 

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Posted 2007-September-10, 15:08

start calling her names, james,
misplay a cold hand, han,
release a key guard, ward,
give tricks for free
forget to finesse, lez,
you must always be right, dwight
assign all the blame, jane
and let your tricks flee

She said why don't we both
just think on it tonight
And i believe next session
you'll begin to behave right
and then she left me
and i realize she probably was right
there must be fifty ways
to leave your partner
fifty ways to leave your partner

miss the key game, blaine
forget the reply, bly
make the wrong pitch, rich,
don't listen to him
don't return suit, brute,
you post mortem too much, butch
forget to bid grand, rand
leave your seat free
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#9 User is offline   kenberg 

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Posted 2007-September-10, 15:20

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
And I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But the way you played that slam it just became unglued
There must be fifty ways to lose your partner
Fifty ways to lose your partner


She said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
I believe that in the morning we can have another fight
And then she kicked me and I knew that she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to lose your partner.
Fifty ways to lose your partner

Take a bad sac, Jack
Make a weird psych, Mike
No need to be coy, Roy
Listen to me

Forget what you play, Ray
Strand the key trick, Rick
Botch up the D, Lee

And get yourself free!
Ken
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#10 User is offline   han 

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Posted 2007-September-10, 15:48

matmat, on Sep 10 2007, 04:08 PM, said:

misplay a cold hand, han,

It doesn't rhyme. What do you think that suggests Matt? :P
Please note: I am interested in boring, bog standard, 2/1.

- hrothgar
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#11 User is offline   kenberg 

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Posted 2007-September-10, 17:43

Merrily rolling along:

The problem's just inside your head she said to me
It's really easy if you take it logically
The way you played it you were doubled and down three.
There must be fifty ways to lose your partner
Fifty ways to lose your partner.
Ken
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#12 User is offline   Winstonm 

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Posted 2007-September-10, 18:05

Just rehash this hand, Stan
Lead out of turn, Vern
Don't play for the drop, Pop
and don't listen to me

You keep bidding too much, gus
And rely luck too much
They ain't always 3/3, Lee
Leave the bidding to me
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."
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#13 User is offline   kfay 

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Posted 2007-September-12, 11:45

She yelled, she screamed, 'Get out of my face!'
'Better yet still be gone from this place!
I want you to vanish without a trace!
Hurry up, be quick... or I'll use my mace!'

All of this for not cashing my ace, Trace?
Kevin Fay
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