Last weekend I was out to play a big mixed major event. I made bad mistakes that I usually do not make, lost concentration, frustration grew and things became worse.
The conditions were:
a.) time and sleep factor: we got up very early in the morning, went 6hrs by car, of course discussing the system (we chose to play Polish Club some weeks ago), tourney started at 14.00, 1. round 30 boards, 1,5 hrs break with a big "forced" dinner, 30 more hands.
I decided to go to such events 1 day before the tourney.
b.) discussing during tourney: The start was not brilliant, we had strong opps who found for example a cheap sacrifice which was not standard on the score sheet. After my 1. real mistake partner asked "why didn't you blabla", I started to think about it, felt uncomfortable and soon made another mistake, partner was even more unamused.
No discussion during a tourney, play every hand as if it is the first.
c.) feeling injustice: opps ( a couple) played a convention, explained that 4♣ shows a 2-suiter with ♣s and ♠s satisfying the rule of 18, around opening values. They played 4♠, dummy came down with 6pts, husband said: "rule of 18??? It is 16". TD came and the usual procedure started: the husband became loud and told that he NEVER said a word about the rule of 18, the wife said nothing, on the CC stood only that 4♣s shows ♣s and ♠s. Result stood (4 ♠-1), very bad score for us.
Against 3NT I lead the 3 from K6432 with no other entry. Partner won with the A, his J killed dummy's 10, opp played the Q and I ducked. Partner was angry that I didn't take the K but did not see that the suit was blocked (he had AJ98).
?? I have no idea how to handle that.
d.) social manners: another pair had a big, very bad quarrel after a bad result for them. My partner found that amusing and funny, I cannot stand such behaviour -> next board I made another mistake, bad score for us.
Also no idea what can be done.
e.) atmosphere: the general tone was more harsh than friendly. TDs had a military style of giving advices or telling decisions.
2 other pairs of my local club did not even find a "hello".
Of course wishes everybody to win and play as good as possible, but it is a hobby and a game, not war.
I can act differently, but what can I do not to let it influence myself?
f.) High expectations: Some weeks ago we also played a bigger mixed tourney with nearly the same pairs and came in 3rd. So the expectation was high on both sides.
I told my partner for the ladies competition that I occasionally play really bad (last year we were 4th), due to different reasons, I am scared I will do in november, too. She said that she loves me and just wants to have a nice weekend with me

g.) brain self-defense: After those more-than-usual-mistakes I felt that my brain is completely empty, refusing to remember anything on technics or system. There was a strong wish to escape.
Breathing technics to calm down? Go to toilet to have a short break?
h.) personal relationship: When I look at the result of this tourney, the pairs on top were married, mother and son, standard partners and/or long time friends. I feel also very well playing with a partner who likes me in general and will be on my side, no matter of my bridge skills. That does not mean that I do not like playing with others!!
Sometimes lovers cannot play together because they mix bridge problems with everyday or relationship problems...
i.) theory and practise: I noticed a difference. To understand the theory and to handle it on the table (or to remember...) is difficult.
Play as often as possible with a STANDARD partner?
k.) routine: I do not often go to big tourneys. It is a matter of time and also money.
Routine lowers stress. Is online training a way?
Please don't take this posting as frustrated lamenting. It is easy to give up but I prefer the way to work on things.
Brain research prooved that the brain needs for learning (that is what it does most of the time)
- energy and water
- a positive atmosphere
- a certain heart beat frequency
- partnership instead of pressure
- of course a special "landsscape" for a special thing like bridge.
Personal experiences in comparable situations play also a role.
So I ask you, the experienced competitors in major events and experts:
What do you do to handle the stress or don't you feel stress?
How do people compensate the stress? (Biting nails, argue with partner or opps, praise themselves, teach others at the table, smoking or having a drink etc., analyse a squeeze in every 2. hand

Do you agree with my "solutions" above?
Are men "tougher" than women?
Thank you

Caren